For learning

The thing that I always find it very hard to answer is when people say "Please describe yourself", which is when I will have to find some particular positive words and adjectives with the hope that they bring the best of me out on the table. It is the basic thing to ask to get to know someone you have just met, it is the thing interviewers expect you to be perfect at when the interview start. Yet in my opinion, to define oneself is a silly thing. Because all of us are constantly, unstoppably changing day by day; we challenge the person we were the day before and strive to be better tomorrow. Yesterday you might not understand love and today you do. Yesterday you might didn't know how to read and today you are spelling your first words. Learning is constant, it is a process, a wonderful process that should never stop throughout your entire life journey.

So today I start describing myself as someone who is constantly changing and learning to be good, to be better. Today I am learning to be me and not afraid of it, today I learn to listen to my heart before anyone else's opinions, today I learn to be grateful for what is happening in the moment. Sometimes it feels like everything is in slow-motion and I get confused because I can't see the outcome yet, and the process often takes too long. We are taught since elementary school to work for a result, for a mark, for money, for achievements; so we get confused when other type of learning doesn't have a definite answer. We often forget that we are living right now, it doesn't make sense to say out loud, but if you stop for a moment you may see many of us are living towards something else, a goal, a future, something that is not this very present of things. So, you see, even when you don't know who you will be tomorrow, the only things that matter are the you now, the very process you are doing things now.

I find myself learning the most about life when I am no longer in school.  School doesn't teach us how to love, how to maintain friendship, lectures don't show us how to deal with doubts and anxiety, and rarely do we learn about what life is all about. What money is for? How to find your passion? How to know what is true love and what is not?... I start asking "Why" more than I ever have, and hence strive to develop a more critical views towards things. It is very important to have a mind of your own and stop just taking everything in as a "default" mode. This is how I learn.

I have been using this space for a while to tell my story, I didn't do it for anyone but myself, documented my daily life as it was. I met some wonderful people through it, but I always feel like it lacks something. It is the "sharing" or "community" value of a blog. I really hope that I can share more, not about "things", but about the lesson I learn, the events that change me, the books that I hope everyone read... I want to be the kid in classroom again, discussing the wisdom that we all encounter in our daily lives but too busy to take notice, helping each other, learning together. I will share with you feminism, minimalism, life decisions, being happy and many more, here, every week. You with me?

So I invite you to join this with me. I hope this road is long, because I am enjoying every bits of it.

See you very soon,

Khoai.


P.S: For those who still want to find my mess and life updates somewhere, here is my tumblr: (http://khoairollingaround.tumblr.com)