I got some of my films developed yesterday. As usual, looking at old photos rushed all the memories back, make it harder for me to realise that I am now so far away from this place, time wise, distance wise..
This is the fishing trip I told you before here, and the sunset I spoke so highly about. So glad that the sunset photos turned out just like I imagined them to be.
"One day," you said to me, "I saw the sunset forty-four times!"
And a little later you added: "You know, one loves the sunset, when one is so sad..." "Were you so sad, then?" I asked, "on the day of the forty-four sunsets?"
But the little prince made no reply.
And yes, the bloody legs.
Still a lot of film photos that I would gladly share on the blog, so stay tuned for me (always feel so weird saying this, who the hell would stay "tuned" for more stupid film photos?). Oh well, till we speak again x
Hey there, Anddddd I am back! Back with Hanoi, back with school, back with old friends, back with blogging. It has been nearly a week since I left Melbourne, and I guess "reverse culture shock" is the right word for the weird feeling I am having right now. It feels weird to be back to the point you were in exactly one year ago, it makes you start wondering whether you have really done anything in that precious one year, because here you are, at the start, physically and mentally. And at the same time when you think about how far you have come, how many new people you have met, how many miles you have walked and all that, it has been an incredible journey. And it hasn't stopped yet.
I have a lot of things to share. Crazy to think how fast things change in just 3 weeks, I was in Melbourne, then Singapore, then Hanoi; I met someone who turn my heart upside down; I finished my exams, hugged everybody and said goodbye... for now I am clumsily gather the little pieces up and adapt myself back in the heat of Vietnam.
I will blog about my trip in Singapore a little bit later, since I want to get my film photos developed and upload it on the blog. I met two ladies on Instagram for the first time, who are super friendly and funny and talented. The trip was super short but definitely sweet. Here are some photos I got from Linh of floraldots (thank you for hosting meeeee even though you were so mean blehhhh, love youuu ):
Me and Phanh, cutest person on earth!
Second things, as one of the biggest changes in my life right now, is that my relationship status has finally changed from "Single" to "Taken"(WOO HOO). It all happened so quick and it costs both of us many tearful conversations talking about our very uncertain future (since we are now in a long distance relationship). Things are working well for now, and I can't express how grateful I am to meet someone who can accept me and love me as much as he does. He came into my life when I expected romance the least, and as someone who is so different from my imagination. I don't know, when you are in love you can just bother everyone around you with your silly stories, and I am doing exactly so with you haha.
Oh well what can I say, how can I even start to describe my feeling right now.. "I feel old, but not very wise". One year certainly has changed me a lot, and I learnt a lot; yet at the same time I feel like all that I know is just way too little compared to what I will have to do in the future. Life decisions are at the very edge and I should really stop procrastinating and hide away from responsibilities and decision-making. Relationships, family, career, friends, or even where I will live in the future all of the sudden become something only I can deal with myself; and it is hard jumping from the hippie kid to someone who has to make her own choices about everything. I wish I could be more talented or smart or something that will make things more clear and easier to find; but well, we should just embrace and treasure what we have. And I hope that I have the strength to try my best this time.
Okay that's it for now, I hope some of you still read this and hasn't forgotten me yet. I will talk with you guys very soon.
So my Easter break is over. School is in again, great, can't be more excited for finals and assignment *CRIES*
I have had a wonderful holiday though, which makes it harder to stop procrastinating. The me after the holiday right now is having a "lẹo mắt" so just more excuses for me to continue the lazy spirit and watch more movies and push homework to tomorrow weeeee. Anw, here goes my holiday weekkk:
Grampians
Grampians is this mountainous place that is 4 hour drive from Melbourne. And fuck it was one of the hardest thing I have ever done. The road was rocky and so steep I literally walk by both my legs and arms sometimes. But we were all so determined to get a new profile picture (oh the generation of greatness), after about 2 hours of dying we finally reached the top. And believe me, it was worth it, lookkk:
Photos by Quoc Anh and anh Huy. As always, my film photos always come after like 100 years of the event.
Ohhh and I made a video for the trip. Credit to QA who recorded all this with his awesome GoPro camera:
Fact: the day after that I couldn't even go to the kitchen or even stand straight for 5 minutes. Lazy people have to suffer sometimes I guess.
Rainbow trout fishing
We team of 5 went fishing at this place called Rainbow fishing trout. They divided the place into 2 areas, the so-called challenging place and the easy one. As confident as we were, we put our fishing-rod down and waited for miracle near the challenging area first. I haven't gone fishing before, so the guys had to teach me how to throw and stuff. The result was my fishing rod got stuck on the tree once, or twice, eh.. But oh well even the professional guys in the team didn't get any luck. So we moved to the easy place and caught 3 huge trouts in 5 mins.
It is funny how sometimes the little, unplanned things become the things we remembered the most. On our drive back home we stopped at this random place to see the sunset. We happened to stop at an abandoned house and walked through the grassy area in from of it to find a good place to watch the sunset. That was when my legs got scratched all over because of the thorns of the weeds. But the sunset was beautiful and the whole sky was soaked in this hazy pink and purple colours.
<Photos will be updated after I steal them from Quoc Anh)
The less bloody version of my legs
Random bits and bobs
Well apart from those two getaways from the city I don't really go out much but casual hangouts and shopping and simply sticking to my bed.. Now that I think about it I should have studied or something but oh yeah I was just being normal me ugh
Me. One morning.
My socks collection
Today. Walk around with anh Huy and anh Dung to Toorak - the fancy part of Melbourne.
(This is the part when I got way too sentimental and all that jazz, feel free to ignore)
So the break is over huh?
Every day passed by and the more I realise that my time here is going to end soon. It feel like a blink, the time with the first housemates, the time I travelled alone to Sydney, the 3 months working my ass off in that sushi shop, the time with my gang in Tasmania, all the people I have met and shared stories.. so it has been nearly a year. Two more months and I have already felt nostalgic for things that haven't happened.
The scary thing about being back home and moving forward with my life from Melbourne is that, I simply don't know where I will go and what I will do. I guess you can call that something like a 20-year-old-crisis. But it is not just about career and stuff. It is also about the person I am going to be after this, the relationship with those people that I hold so dear here, and this place I used to call "strange land"; it is easy to say that nothing last, but when you are in a situation like me it is heartbreaking to even think about it.
I think I kinda understand now why people carve on trees or write stupid stuff like "I was here" on the wall, maybe that is their way of trying to leave a mark of their existence, of hoping to be remembered, or maybe it is just pure stupid. I don't know, but from how I see it, for Melbourne, I came and I will leave. And who knows when I will come back, or whether I do come back at all. What is my "one year mark" for Melbourne, for the people I met here? Maybe I should carve on trees after all.
I wrote this sentence down on my diary in the beginning of 2013: "All we know about the future is that it will be different". And I guess the question of how different will it be can only answered by ourself.
I have found so many good music lately, and my taste slightly changed. Nowadays I mostly listen to post rock or instrumental, or sometimes poems on music (?). I have shared you one of my favourite up there (oh lucky you), and now this is my recent discover:
This song feels like a lullaby for me, something you listen to when the room is dark and your mind is wandering off to some unknown places. Lou Reed's voice, ugh how can I describe it, it brings a warm and nostalgic feeling, the voice that you want to hear on the phone when you are down. I don't know, properly not everyone's cup of tea, but I love it very much. The lyrics speak a lot to me too.
I feel like it has been forever since I last blogged. I am not exactly in the "I am so busy I can't even ugh" kind of situation, but uni has already here for 3 weeks (like, wtf?) and I have found myself crawling on my floor trying to get things done. And I have changed a hell lot since we last spoke, my dear imaginary readers. Who know how 3 weeks can change you huh?
First things first, I am officially a blue - green head now.
I have been pondering about going blue for a longggg time; because it is something absolutely crazy to do if I was in Vietnam, it has been on my list of "things I have to do in Melbourne" for months. And now tah-dah, I can totally tell my grandchildren that their grandmother had blue hair once.
The thing about having blue hair is, you seem more open, more approachable and such. Since my hair turned blue, I have been receiving kindness and smile from strangers "Hey, I like your hair" and it is always a great start for conversations.
Places: TASMANIA
I went to Tassie last week with my gang of friends, and the whole trip was amazinggggg. Tasmania is beautiful like a poem and going on road trips with the gang is properly something I will never forget. We went from the hazy green mountains to the crystal clear sea, from the vintage town to the up high Mt Wellington... all by our little red car.
Our way of doing group selfie
Sorry I don't have many photos because I only brought my film camera, which will properly take me half a year to get developed ha-ha *warning: this is a sad sarcastic laugh*
Other Melbourne's places
- Moomba Festival: full of lights and colours and what a festival is supposed to be like
Melbourne Fashion Week:
I got the chance to go to Melbourne Fashion Week as a reporter for Meld. This was my first time attending a fashion show, looking at real catwalks, and with the confidence of holding my media pass, you can tell I was pretty excited. I went with Linh as he wanted to take photos of the attendees' outfits. Yet both of us were quite disappointed, everything was at a "okay" level and didn't go further from that. It was still a nice experience though. And I got to meet Nat from Community Channel!
About me, I have made another crappy page for my journal, and it properly sums up my life lately:
As always, the heart is one tricky little piece of shit.
I guess thats it for now. I skipped the class for today as I overslept and decided I would just have a day for myself (not that another days have been for others lol). But I will stay in and try to get my hands on many of my unfinished stuffs.
Oops almost forgot to include a song, anyone here listen to Nell? They are an incredible Korean indie rock band, i-c-r-e-d-i-b-l-e I mean it! Anw Nell has released a new album called "Newton's Apple" recently and basically every songs in it is beyond this world.
One thing I can tick off in the list of "Marvelous Achievement in Melbourne" - apart from creating the worst dinner ever - is first time travelling alone. And it was Sydney.
Sydney was full of sunshine, and sky-high twinkling buildings. Like how my friends said, if Melbourne is the hipster / vintage heaven like Hanoi, then Sydney is the hectic, fast-pace sunny place like Saigon. I stayed at my father's friend's house, they were friends in high school and have never met again since then. So it's just amazing how they still be in contact after all these years (people don't have email and stuff back then yeah?). She is an amazingly kind woman, someone whose hugs are tight.
"Can I photograph you?
Nooo I don't want your parents to see me through photos. Tell them to meet me in person. It will be incredible fun then, think about how we all have changes through time."
I should have photographed much much more than this, especially in film. But man I keep forgetting to bring that heavy piece of metal, so these are all I got for Sydney. Such a shame I didn't bring it to Blue Mountain, properly my favourite place in Syd.
On the train to the airport. I had to get up at 5 am to catch the train, and since it was way too early to people to function, my landlord hadn't opened the door yet, so I did some action-movie moves to literally climb out of the house. Still miss the flight though.
Breakfast - Waiting for my flight
Sarah
The famous Opera House. Only gorgeous from afar though haha.
I thought film photography suit me better than digital one. I am untalented at photography so I don't like to show people my stuff right away, so film accepts that. I am just that slow, old, heavy and equally hipster. The thing is, now I don't feel like I even deserve using my film camera anymore.
Film photography is supposed to produce beautiful colour and texture on a photograph, it captures moments better, it is unique and unexpected. And for so long I have always been very proud that I am a little bit different from others from owning and using a film camera. I called him Min-chan. Since I came to Melbourne I didn't have the chance to develop my films, yet I continue to photograph with it whenever I can, and I expect great things in it. And after 5 months of feeling nervous and excited to see my final outcomes, I finally saw all of my photos today.
And I feel like I have made Min-chan disappointed. Half of every rolls are not even presented, meaning that they are too bad the lab didn't send them to keep my heart from breaking.
I guess I am being way too dramatic over photos. It's just that, you know, expectation makes life worse. And after all, beautiful moments are beautiful even when they are badly captured. So I guess I will stop being a film-camera-user and gladly be a moment-collector then.
