T w e n t y

So, this was my bday dinner. No cake and candle so apple and a little firework stick i found on the street would do

People asked me how did I spend my birthday, which included a few little stories here and there. My best friends and dad's wishes and emails, strangers' kindness, quick nap under the sun on the beach, harmless flirt from strangers and this little dinner party with the girls. I have intended to keep the day secret and go somewhere alone, which has been my little tradition since last year birthday. The reason is complicated, or maybe I am just weird. However this year it did not go as planned, and to be honest I still feel kinda weird receiving Facebook-birth-day-wishes from people who I am not close with; but all I remembered was me being giggly and happy at the end of the day, knowing that I have had a great day and have people who actually do care for me somehow.

First day of my 20, I started moving house with the help of Ly and Trang. The weather was perfect and we had so much fun wandering around and melting over household interiors in Kmart. Now let's say, my house is still pretty much empty, I still haven't got a mattress, my keys don't work, we don't have a fridge and I don't know if electricity has come to the house yet. But I have no regret or doubt about this decision, cause for the first time in my life I can start building my room from scratch, and all this first-time-experience is enjoyable and stressful at the same time. The little journey we had to bring my free ikea table back home was memorable. And it has been such a fucking long time since I have got my own free space. So instead of worrying over my situation - which my friends are doing for me - I just feel pretty much excited about it.

I used to be like, when the clock started ticking to the 12am and I turned to a new age, I would think "From this moment I will change and be a better person". And being 20 I have realized that it will never work like that, and I AM making progress and moving forward, tho I still don't know my destination. These recent days, despite of the huge amount of sweets and food and lack of exercise, I have been absorbing a lot of changes and new way of thinking and all that, though i don't know how and what I am going to use them for, knowing how to be a good person is never too much. 

You can see, and I can see pretty well, that my life is back to the unstable and which-road-to-take state, exams are coming up pretty fast and I gotta settle down asap with my house and responsibilities that I take so I can focus on eating boring text books for a while. I guess all I can do is trying my best, yeah?