i keep feeling like i cant breath. there is a lump in my throat and my stomach feels like vomitting.

idk, what is this? anxiety? simply because i drink too much coffee? loneliness? weather is changing? who knows. 

i signed up on bumble bff and got too scared

i wish we didnt have a leaking roof, i wish we have a yard with grass so the dogs can poop and pee even when it rains, i wish anh is back to before. but none of that is reality anytime soon isn’t it.

damn i’m pathetic. here i am complaining on the internet, what a joke.

oh man,

this is weird. it has been 5 years. 

i don't know why but i feel like sharing again. maybe not so cheesy like before, but man don't i miss writing my thoughts out.

today is sad. i said something, he was angry. everytime like this it feels like something is broken even when we have been together for years (at the end of this blog, i think?)

so here i am listening to billie eilish, crying and wanting to write something.

maybe to desperately mark my insignificance to the universe?

i have spilled words all over the internet and it doesn't mean anything really.